Saturday, August 20, 2005

The Return of Yellow Journalism

This one is from Manish at Sepia Mutiny.

Recall our recent outrage at what the Times of India has been publishing lately. And how it has taken comic turns in the form of unwarranted humour on the part of the hacks in Mumbai working for it.

Now the TOI imputes that Jason Alexander from Sienfeld was married to Britney Spears! Now any schoolgirl would let you know that Britney was actually married for 55 hours to Jason Allen Alexander whose sole claim to fame is getting drunk and hitching up with ditzy blonde popsters. Unlike the bald comedian pictured alongside.

Imagine a conversation if George Costanza had actually scored with Britney Spears

Jerry: So, a blonde...huh? Wow.
Kramer: Jerry. Blondes are the best you know. The best! Simply the best.
George: Myeah...
Jerry: Whaddya mean 'myeah'.
Kramer: Does she have blonde friends? Do pop-stars have groupies?
George: I dunno. She drives me crazy! Crazy!
Kramer: why? What happened?
Jerry: You've obviously got to make allowances for blondes.
Kramer:'s like golf. You handicap them.
Jerry: that's right. A Blonde handicap.
George: No you don't understand....she kept driving me NUTS all along in Vegas. NUTS.
Jerry: How?
George: Well, the way it panned out...was...ummm... She kept saying she wanted to get married every time she got drunk.
Jerry: Well. That's what women do when they are drunk. They want to get married.
Geogre: (pitiable expression)
Kramer + Jerry: No! You didn't!
Kramer: no no no no.
Jerry: So now she is driving you NUTS even in New York and you want your marriage annulled.
George: Are you kidding me? No! ofcourse not! How many times does a fat short bald man like me get to marry a blonde airhead?
Kramer: So there is no problem. is there?
George: NO. she wants the marriage anulled.
Jerry: Women! I guess she wanted what happened in Vegas to stay there, huh?